Tak pernah pulak terfikir yang bila kau nak selamatkan orang, kau pulak yang akan cedera parah. Kau berusaha nak ubatkan luka orang, luka kau sendiri yang makin teruk. Kau tarik orang keluar dari gaung, rupanya kau yang dilambung balik masuk dalam gaung. 
Kehidupan memang macam ni ke? 
till then~ 

w.n.a

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I gave all my oxygen to people that could breath
I gave away my money and now we don’t even speak
I drove miles and miles but would you do the same for me
Oh, honestly?

Offered up my shoulder just for you to cry upon
Gave you constant shelter and a bed to keep you warm
They gave me the heartache and in return I gave a song
It goes on and on and on

Life can get you down so I just numb the way it feels
I drown it with a drink and out of date prescription pills
And all the ones that love me, they just left me on the shelf, no farewell
So before I save someone else, I’ve got to save myself

I gave you all my energy and I took away your pain
Cause human beings are destined to radiate or drain
What line do we stand upon cause from here it looks the same?
And only scars remain

Life can get you down so I just numb the way it feels
I drown it with a drink and out of date prescription pills
And all the ones that love me, they just left me on the shelf, no farewell
So before I save someone else, I’ve got to save myself

But if I don’t then I’ll go back to where I’m rescuing a stranger
Just because they needed saving, just like that
Oh I’m here again, between the devil and the danger
But I guess it’s just my nature
My dad was wrong, cause I’m not like my mum
Cause she’d just smile and I’m complaining in a song, but it helps
So before I save someone else, I’ve got to save myself

Life can get you down so I just numb the way it feels
Or drown it with a drink and out of date prescription pills
And all the ones that love me, they just left me on the shelf, no farewell
So before I save someone else, I’ve got to save myself
And before I blame someone else, I’ve got to save myself
And before I love someone else, I’ve got to love myself

Save Myself – Ed Sheeran

Haritu masa duk tunggu lift nak turun pergi lunch, sempat la duk mengarut dengan geng office. Dok gelak-gelak lagi sikit nak kalah langsuir. Pastu akak sorang ni tetiba keluar soalan best. 

KL: Eh nak tanya. Macam mana kalau one day JT kahwin dengan orang lain? Awak sedih tak?

Me: Biarlah dia nak kahwin dengan orang lain. Takkan saya nak halang pulak. Tak sedih kot.

KL: Yeke awak ni. Takkan la tak sedih langsung.

Me: Tapi kalau time tu saya tetiba hilang seminggu tanpa dikesan tu akak jangan tanya dan cari la saya. 😂

Elok je aku habiskan ayat tu, ketiga-tiga kitorang tetiba terdiam. Depa dua orang tu agaknya tak expect la aku nak jawab macam tu. Pastu aku pun macam wadehel  yang aku dah cakap tadi tu. Spontan kot aku cakap tu tak fikir apa pun. Tapi tak sampai seminit pun depa diam. Pastu dibantainya gelak dari dalam lift Level 31 hingga GF. 😒

Tapi tu la. Aku rasa apa yang aku cakap tu la benda paling jujur yang memang lahir dari hati aku untuk hal aku dengan JT ni. Kelakar betul.

till then~

w.n.a

Kawan aku cakap hidup ni kena jadi kejam sikit. Lepas tu aku cakap balik kat dia yang aku tak sampai hati nak buat kejam kat orang. Why don’t we just treat them nicely, or killed them with the kindness. Then dia reply balik, dia kata tetap kena jadi kejam. Sebab orang sekeliling kita ni sampai je hati nak buat macam-macam kat kita.

Aku nak je cakap, orang sekeliling tu macam kau ke sampai hati buat macam-macam kat aku walaupun aku ni dah sehabis baik tinggalkan semua benda demi nak melayan kau?

Tapi aku tak cakap la. Sebab aku tak sampai hati.

till then~

w.n.a

I am sorry if my 2 previous posts sounds so depressing. I think i am having conflict with my own self for the past few weeks. And still happening till today. 

On the other note, I should have listened to myself. Because now i have to pay for the price which i don’t think i can afford that. And it slowly kills me inside.

till then~

w.n.a

Macam mana nak hilangkan perasaan yang menyesakkan dada ni? Dah lama sangat ni perasaan ni ada dok melekat macam ni. Lama sangat sampai sedih dan kesian bila tengok diri sendiri macam ni. 

till then~ 

w.n.a